Review of Garden Gnome Carnage

I played this a game a few years ago when it first came out on Yoyogames. It placed second in a winter competition held on the site. I was pleasantly surprised to see this game available as an Xbox indie game.

In Garden Gnome Carnage you play as a building with a garden gnome tied to your chimney. Soldiers are trying to climb the building in order to liberate the gnome from the building. You don't want that to happen. There are many ways of dealing with these intruders such as swinging your gnome at them, shaking them off your building, throwing explosive bricks at them, and calling in some airstrikes. These guys are relentless though and will come at you in the hundreds with all that they've got. There's also a friendly cat that tries to climb your building to refill your bricks. That cat is the one thing that you do want to reach the chimney. If you chain enough combos together you can also play a quick minigame that will benefit you if you manage to win. The game ends when someone finally reaches your chimney.

Garden Gnome Carnage is one of those crazy ideas that definitely deserve a try. The game is just fun to play. It keeps track of your scores so you can keep track of your progress. It says it has online leaderboards as well but I don't think they are working at the moment. It also has a level up button that allows you to skip the early slow levels and get into the action faster at level 20.

The only downside to buying the game is that you can already play the game for free on several different flash sites with the only difference really being that the flash version is more Christmas oriented with elves/gnomes trying to capture you instead of soldiers. The game is great either way and should be played. It sales for 80 microsoft points.

It is still a great original game a few years later. Garden Gnome Carnage gets a 4/4.

Review of Techno Kitten Adventure!

If your looking for something crazy then this adventure might be for you. Thirteen cats must try their best to explore the world all while listening to techno music. This trip is not for the faint of heart.

Now when you first get into the game there will seem like there are a million things going on all at once. You'll see unicorns and rainbows to flying turkey dinners zooming right pass your little kitty. It's okay, none of those do a single thing other than look pretty. In fact Techno Kitten is probably one of the simplest games you will ever play. Only one button is used for the entire game. With the A button you let your kitty fly higher, letting go of it lets him fall to the ground. With these advanced controls the kitten must dodge shapes, just plain old white shapes. Although there may be dragons and bacon flying around the area  they are nothing more than a distraction. Actually that's the challenge of the game, not getting distracted by everything going on. The game keeps track of how far you get by the score it keeps. The higher the score on a particular level the more cats you unlock. I don't believe the kittens do anything other than look different, though some are more useful than others because they are easier to see against the backgrounds. Each level follows a different music track and has it's own unique theme. Everything gets more intense as the song continues on. Techno Kitten features four levels.

I personally have enjoyed Techno Kitten Adventure, and it's not just because of all the cats. I enjoy weird, crazy games. The more I play it the more I like it. It's a fun game to show off to friends. However, it really isn't much of a game. If you stripped away all the effects, music, and graphics this wouldn't be much of a game at all. Also at times it's practically impossible to tell what is going on. When the shapes and your kitty match the background it can begin to get a bit frustrating. After a while you will get used to everything going on and the game gets easier. Although all the levels have a lot of hectic mayhem happening all around the screen, none of them match up to the craziness of the meat level. The meat level makes everything else look simple in comparison and is the only stage to really offer anything different.

Techno Kitten Adventure! is one insane trip. But at 240 microsoft points I don't know if I can really recommend buying the game. The only stage that really stands out besides the first trial level is the meat pack. I do think everyone should download the trial though just to experience some of the crazy action the game has  to offer.

Techno Kitten Adventure can haz 2/4.

Review of Avatar Bowman 2

The popular game Bowman finally comes to the Xbox 360. It also has Avatars in it! Not only does it include the original 2D mode, Avatar Bowman 2 also includes a 3D version of the game with a whole new way to play.

Bowman consist of two archers. Each archer take turns trying to shoot an arrow at the other player. You aim the bow up and down to try to get the best angle. The power of the bow may be adjusted as well. Once the arrow is released you will see it fly towards the other person. Based on where the arrow has landed is how you will want to adjust your next shot. Wind is also a factor and can be changed around at the beginning of the game. The first archer to hit the other archer three times wins. 3D Bowman works similar to the original. Now armed with a crossbow you must aim left and right along with aiming higher and lower. Wind seems to play an even bigger role in 3D version requiring more drastic changes to your aim. Both can be played with computers or another person.

I love anything to do with bows so I was pretty excited to see there was a Bowman version on the 360. The game does okay with the actual gameplay. However, Avatar Bowman 2 doesn't always feel right. I don't know if it's the graphics or the shooting mechanic but it just isn't very engaging. The animation of the avatars seem a little off. Although the environments look decent it would help if there were different areas to keep the game fresh. The 3D landscape also could be used more. I was disappointed when I learned the 3D version has you face right in front of the other Avatar both on top of a hill. Fighting between the trees and around the castle would have given more variation and require more thought about where to shoot instead of mindlessly matching each shot next to your previous shot. I tried to find an online match but was unable to enter one. It does let you practice against a computer while searching for an opponent. One major issue I found is that in the classic mode if you shoot yourself it will actually count as a hit against the enemy. You essentially can win by shooting yourself three times in a row.

So is Avatar Bowman 2 worth getting? Maybe... If you are craving Bowman and want it on your 360 then this is a decent version. Not bad for 80 points but you could always find the original version for free. Try it first to see if it is right for you.

I give Avatar Bowman a 2/4.

Review of QuickDraw

I'm sure we have all played wild-west style dueling mingames. Those are the ones where you wait for the sign to come up saying "Draw"and the first person to shoot wins. Well QuickDraw revolves around this entire gametype, and the results are surprisingly fun. 

QuickDraw features an Arcade mode which puts you up against opponent after opponent to see how long you can carry on. Each challenger has a slight variation of the duel. Sometimes the rules might easily be the first one to press the correct button wins, while at other times it may be something along the lines of the first one to fire after the can hits the ground. If you ever shoot before the desired time you are given a foul. Two fouls equals a loss. After every five matches or so you get the chance to play a quick round of blackjack to earn an extra life. Each opponent has a score value that goes up after each duel. The dueling will continue until you finally run out of lives. There is also a versus mode where you can either battle your friends locally or you can play against the computer.

I didn't initially think QuickDraw would be anything special but after trying it out I was amazed by how much I liked the game. Everything just works together, from the music to the graphics to the comedic bounty signs. Many of the concepts may be simple but when they come together they make a great game. Honestly I can't really think of anything negative about the game.

QuickDraw is a treasure on XBLIG. The western atmosphere and the solid dueling mechanic make an amazing combination. For only 80 microsoft points you can be dueling all day long. QuickDraw definitely deserves a try!

I give QuickDraw a 4/4!

Review of Nuclear Wasteland 2030

Zombies and survival defense go hand and hand together. I mean, when there is a zombie apocalypse what else is there to do than run and hide? Well one brave man named Joseph Kelly decides enough is enough and goes straight into the heart of the problem. Armed with whatever gun he can get a hold of, Joseph goes out into the wasteland to clean up the mess of mutants that roam the countryside. But is one brave man enough to win the fight against the mutants?

Nuclear Wasteland is a wave-based survival first person shooter in which you continuously fight mutants. As far as I know there is no way to win; the goal is to try to last as long as possible. You start with a pistol with an unlimited amount of ammo. After you pass a few rounds different towers and bunkers will start opening. Inside these buildings are health, ammo, and extra weapons. Once you unlock more weapons, you are allowed to carry one main weapon and your original pistol. When the round is over all the bonuses reset giving you a chance to rearm with more ammo and health. As time goes on more and more mutants come out to stop the one man army.

I was impressed by how good this game looks for an XBLIG. Of course there is only one map and one enemy type, but even with a few stiff animations the game still looks good. The actual gameplay isn't bad either. If you enjoy Nazi Zombies or Killing Floor this may be a good choice. The aiming can be a little hard especially with the pistol since it's a semi-auto gun. Besides the actual aiming the gunplay feels good. Each new weapon feels stronger than the last.

The biggest problem of the game that I see is how easy it is. Once you learn how to kite all the zombies and to quickly move around the map the game becomes way too simple. A minimap helps you see exactly where all the zombies are in the surrounding area. You get a load of health to keep you alive, and if that wasn't enough you have three lives that will restart the wave in case the mutants do manage to take you out. After all the weapons get unlocked there really isn't much to do besides fight wave after wave of mutants. I let myself die around round 25 after playing for almost an hour. Another strange thing about the game is the enemy spawns. After a while there will be more zombies in a round than can be in the level at once. After you kill off those zombies, the new zombies will instantly spawn at the same location all together, usually right behind you. Though this does make the game slightly tougher it just feels odd and I think it would be better if the zombies spawned randomly after death. Not necessarily a negative but I was also able to accidentally break out of the map. There's some room to explore, and it didn't really break the game like I thought it might.

Despite not being too difficult Nuclear Wasteland is still a fun experience. There is no co-op or online play which could have been a welcome feature. But a decent FPS game for 80 microsoft points is not a bad deal at all.

I give Nuclear Wasteland 2030 a 3/4.

Review of The Impossible Game

The Impossible Game. Is it really impossible? Well it's close to impossible.

The point of the game is simple. You jump over spikes and onto other blocks and try your best to get to the very end. That may sound easy... but it isn't. The game immediately throws you into the action. The first few second start off slow but then it picks up fast. Only the jump button is required to play. Every time a mistake is made you must start all the way back at the beginning. There is a practice mode where you can set checkpoints down as you go. It's a good way to learn the game and get a feel of what's coming ahead. Of course the game gets dramatically easier if you can set checkpoints everywhere you go, so if you beat it in practice mode it will not count as actually beating the game. Also the game keeps track of all the attempts you have done. Don't be surprised if you see it quickly going into the hundreds.

The game is hard. I played through the game in practice mode first to get a feel for everything. Then I tried to play it the normal way. I didn't do very well. After a couple hundred attempts I decided the game is practically impossible for me. Unfortunately, I never beat the game. It was still enjoyable the times I tried. The soundtrack that goes with the game is incredible as well and was a good incentive to keep me going.

Some people will enjoy the challenge that this game brings. Others will be deeply annoyed within the first minute of playing. There is a level pack out there as well with an additional two levels if you just can't get enough. The game is 80 microsoft points and I would recommend at least trying the trial. Maybe you will beat the impossible?

I give The Impossible Game a 3/4.

Review of I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES!!!1

This game has a special place in my heart. It was the first game I ever played and bought as an Xbox Live Indie Game. In fact, I don't think I had even heard of Xbox Live Indie Games before this came out. So I thought I might as well do the first review on the first game I played.

Now don't worry, I didn't spell the name wrong. I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES!!!1 (or we could just call it Zombie for short) is a dual stick shooter meaning that with one stick you control the movement and with the other one you control the shooting. Other twin stick shooters include Geometry Wars and the Dead Ops Arcade in Black Ops. The game revolves around you running around the area trying your best to survive against thousands of zombies. Zombies aren't the only things after you though. You also have to deal with green slimes, fat zombies, space amoebas, centipede like creatures, geometric shapes, exploding zombies, and very angry demon boxes. Luckily you get a variety of weapons to fight the zombies like shotguns, machine guns, flamethrowers, lasers, and some sort of green shuriken thing along with some power-ups. The point of the game is to survive until the end of the game (or just to survive as long as possible!) It also includes local co-op for up to four players.

This game is amazing. At first you might suspect the game may not be what you are expecting. The menu is plain with no sound or music, and you still see the same "spelling errors" that plagued the title of the game. However, once you start Zombie up you will see how great the game is. The graphics are very well done and seem good enough to be put up on an XBLA title. They range from well drawn zombies to retro looking boxes. The background also changes as the game goes on giving a different feel of scenery. (One warning though: if you suffer from seizures you may want to stay away from the game, at several points the backgrounds and enemies all flash in different bright colors which may not be very good for you!) One of the best parts of Zombie though are the songs. Throughout the game you can hear the developer singing about fighting zombies and buying the game. I think the music is good enough to buy the game just for that. If you survive the whole thing it will take about 12 minutes from start to finish. Not the longest game ever but you most likely won't make it through your first few times. Also it's fun enough that you'll come back to play it again. It has local high-scoring as well if you are into that. Zombie is so great the only minor complaint I have is that I can't tell how many lives I have because my gamertag is too large. Everything else I think is just right for the game.

Zombie sells for the very large amount of 80 microsoft points ($1). There is really nothing bad I can say about this game. Everything works well and runs smoothly. Honestly I don't see a reason why someone wouldn't buy it. I highly recommend I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES!!!1 to everyone!

I give it a 4/4!